Why women fake it

DESTINATION / Orgasm

Fauxgasm

"The fake orgasm that women often resort to in order to (a) make their significant other feel like more of a man, or (b) speed up the process of unpleasant intercourse."

07.06. 2021

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Why Women Fake It?

According to a leading clinical counsellor and couples therapist, many women start faking orgasms because they think, 'It’s okay that sex isn’t perfect now because it’s early and it could totally get better.'


Women are perfectly content with the emotional connection with their partner, and they’re less focused on the sexual connection at that time. What matters most in a relationship is also unique to each person; some value sex more than others; some value emotional connection. But most soon discover that the issues of bad sex and faux enjoyment are complicated.

While orgasms mark the peak of physical pleasure, there are also emotional components tied to it like intimacy, self-esteem, and ego- especially in men. Women have been taught that a male partner takes it as a direct insult to his manhood if he can’t get her to climax.

These gendered expectations are part of the reason why orgasms are more frequent among lesbian women than straight and bi women. As “people-pleasers,” women are conditioned to make the best of situations, The faking charade is generally not ill-intentioned. “They don’t want their partners to feel like they can’t provide them with an orgasm,” she says. “A couple of moans later, and they feel they’ve helped create a bond with their partners and assure them of their prowess.”

The Big Fake

The Fauxgasm Cycle Feigning pleasure is most problematic in that exact scenario — when it’s a habitual action. At best, your partner thinks they are more sexually skilled than they actually are, but there are even more downsides. An orgasm is an indicator to your partner that what they are doing feels good and that they should keep on doing it. So, if you’re faking your experience of pleasure, you are reinforcing their behavior in a way that does not actually satisfy you.


Women are putting their partners egos ahead of their own sexual pleasure therefore making it a normalized part of female sexual experiences. Chances are, especially if you’re with a male partner, he’s not even going to notice that your dramatics are just that.

Some say most men still assume the female orgasm works just like theirs. “Men have a very hard time faking an orgasm, and their bodies react differently to vaginal intercourse, allowing them to climax the vast majority of the time. Women, however, are not always guaranteed an orgasm without additional clitoral stimulation.” According to recent studies, fewer than 25 percent of women are able to climax from penetration alone.

Faking orgasms deprives you from receiving pleasure and your partner from knowing how to turn you on and touch you just right. If you fake your enjoyment, you are not being authentic during a sexual encounter. Neither of you benefit from this behaviour.

How to Tell Them

The specialists suggest you don't begin with the most immediate methodology. In the event that you just spread it out there and express that you haven't been climaxing, your accomplice will probably accept it as a double-crossing — feeling deceived is a considerably harder pill to swallow than the inner self wound. Masturbation is sexual investigation exploring different avenues regarding various kinds of incitement — without an emphasis on arriving at climax — won't just make you a superior mentor, it'll probably fire up your sex drive out and out, thus improving your sexual experience inside your relationship.


Next, suggest a new approach to sex with your partner, expanding your repertoire and slowing things down. Instead of wondering why it’s suddenly taking you so much longer to come, your partner may be intrigued by the idea of exploring together. Say you’ve read that you need more clitoral stimulation to have even stronger orgasms, and it might take a while to really get there, clinical sexologists suggest the 20:20 approach, which is 20 minutes of foreplay, slowly removing clothes and warming up, along with 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to reach climax.


Utilize some delicate, in-bed direction while you try together. Zero in on your experience of sexual sensations. Focus harder on what you like, and what isn't functioning admirably, and afterward utilize uplifting feedback as needs be. On the off chance that your accomplice accomplishes something that really feels better, advise them straightforwardly. With words! "Like, 'It feels incredible when you contact me like that,' combined with nonverbal markers like groaning or substantial breathing," If they begin accomplishing something you don't care for, direct them back to the sexual action that was working for you.


Rather than using the phrase “faking it,” you might choose to say that you feel like you’re not reaching your full sexual potential.


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